sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
