All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
