with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no, he came in my armpit
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
