I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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