maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
