This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
