I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
