I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
