Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
pray to the hookup gods
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
