a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
