from now on my penis is your penis
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
