every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
