yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
