just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
