it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
