You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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