i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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