considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
