it's too hot outside to masturbate.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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