It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
