I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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