I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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