i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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