Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
