Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
