I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just pee around me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize