I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
