I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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