ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
