I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
