You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
