tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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