I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
