i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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