Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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