Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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