you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
