I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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