Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
