she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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