I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
