I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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