I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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