Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
