do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
