"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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