I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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