We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
