Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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