ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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