so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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