Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
