I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
