So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
